In honor of having spent a good deal of one Friday at the RI Division of Motor Vehicles, I have decided to offer them my ideas for 10 new slogans to better help capture the essence of the DMV customer service experience.
1. “Taking Bureaucratic Intransigence to New Heights!”
2. “No, you can’t.”
3. “Mo’ paper, Mo’ Money”
4. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that. That’s not my job.”
5. “If it’s online, you can’t get it here. If it’s here, you can’t get it online.”
6. “Of course we don’t tell you that.”
7. “B-236, at window number 7.” [I have an O-389… this is the 8th circle of hell.]
8. “No, you filled out the TR-1 incorrectly.”
9. “It doesn’t mean what it says.”
10. “That system’s not compatible… you’ll have to come back after you get that in hard copy. Notarized. In triplicate.”